We spend our time trying to fight those stereotypes of what a good mom is, so how is it fair to do that to our parents? While it may break our heart to see our parents so disinterested with our children, nothing good will come from comparing them up against everything they are not. ![]() Lower your expectations. We do not like to be compared to other moms. In the recent years, I have chosen the latter. It’s about wanting to be involved in their grandchildren’s lives.Īs the parents, and specifically as the daughter of the uninvolved grandparent, I have two choices: To let the resentment continue to build, or to accept the disappointment and let my heartbreak teach me lessons. Our children love them with all their being, while we have to put effort into our hearts not breaking at their disinterest in reciprocating that bond.ĭon’t get me wrong, this is also not about super fun dates to the movies or nerf wars or endearing tea parties that I feel my children “miss out on.” I absolutely do not expect to have a grandparent that does anything complex, or for me, or for show. They ask for them at sporting events, school programs, to come to dinner with us they ask us to leave when we go over there for cherished one-on-one time (but God forbid we actually leave). They crave memories, laughter, stories, a relationship. They do not crave to show up and each grandparent toss them an iPad they crave THEM. ![]() Our children crave time with their grandparents. This is about the lack of desire in their hearts to want to be present for our children. When they do spend a few hours with them alone, all I hear about are the 6,000 sacrifices that they made for me to run that errand (not even a date night!). They’ve never even had my children overnight. Their parents take their kids for the whole weekend and tell them to “spend the weekend enjoying your marriage,” while my parents make jokes in front of me that they are just “free babysitters” even though they never. Fellow mamas are constantly talking about how they have to fend their parents off from impeding into their lives. We see grandparents doting on their children everywhere we go. These are not the parents I grew up with. They are too tired or too hot or too exhausted to interact. But, whenever we invite ourselves, the excuses begin and when we just “show up,” it’s never convenient. ![]() “Why do you feel like you have to be invited? The door is always open,” they say. In fact, we haven’t been invited over to their house in two months. They prefer to Facetime a couple of times a week, but aren’t willing to get in the car and drive the five minutes to interact with my children. But, my heart equally breaks because my parents, who live five minutes away, make an excuse nearly every game of why they cannot come. My heart feels so happy for the children whose grandparents are happily and selflessly involved in every activity of their grandchild’s life. Parents are dressed in their team’s colors, bragging their beloved child’s number on the backs of their shirts, and my favorite, the grandparents who are always there 30 minutes before game time, cheering the loudest, not taking an eye off home plate for anything. In fact, it normally has the makings of the perfect day: The warming baseball fields begin to line with spectators as energetic children stomp towards their dugout with bats and gloves spilling out of their fresh, new bags. It’s not because I don’t absolutely love springtime because, in actuality, it’s my favorite time of year.
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